Crush

Do any of you remember your first crush?

Or those awkward moments you spend in the crush stage, deciding whether or not you should hug the person because they might not want to hug back?

One Halloween, back in 2010, I was preparing to drive to the movie theatre. I couldn't decide what to wear. "I want to look effortlessly beautiful!" I told my mom, "Something that says, 'Yeah I just threw this on.'" I decided on a tight black t-shirt, jeans, a pink sweater, clogs, and aviator sunglasses. I was so nervous pulling into the parking space. I texted Scott letting him know I was there and that he could text whenever he got there. "I'm already here!" he responded.

I walked in to purchase my ticket and saw him standing off to the side in a white sweater and jeans. We pretty much mirrored one another. I smiled at him, sipping his Icee in his New York Yankees hat. He was smiling really goofy.

We sat in the very back row. We couldn't make eye contact. But we just kept talking and laughing. The movie started and I informed him of my scary movie routine. My eyes start to water when I'm scared and my feet can't be on the ground.

The movie was over too quickly. We stood in the parking lot, about a foot apart. We weren't sure if it was a date. My eyes darted over to the Qdoba across the street. "Ask him to go to Qdoba!" my head shouted. Instead, I broke the silence by going half-in for a hug. I stopped. He went half-in for a hug, then stopped. "Well, I guess I'll see you later," was the sentiment we shared, as we walked away.

I sat down in my car, laughing and shaking my head. My heart was fluttering. I had the can't eat-can't sleep-reach for the stars over the fence-World Series kind of feeling.

We later exchanged texts about how we wanted to spend more time together. We just weren't sure the other person wanted to. So we decided to schedule our first official date for the following Saturday. We later decided that Halloween was a "half-date" because a "full date" must include food. :)

It's funny to look back on those awkward people who weren't quite sure what to say. And now to appreciate the boy who says, "You make me a better person" as he wipes away your tears.