I feel like I've got the summer blues.
During school, there's never time to do anything, not even sleep! But now that time is in excess, I am at a loss as how to manage myself. After working all night, I end up waking groggily at 3 or 4PM to consume sugary cereal and lament my wasted day. It's too late to call up friends; I'd have to shower.
So sometimes I do laundry. And think about the things I want to do but alas, cannot. I want to scrapbook! But before I can, I must complete the scanning/burning of thousands of pictures to save them, before I cut them to pieces. Talk about OCD.
I want to just be carefree and go do things! But I feel guilty leaving my dad at home by himself to take care of the dog, do the dishes, etc. And besides, I can't truly be carefree until all of my seemingly meaningless chores are finished.
Currently Unfinished Chores I Have Yet to Cross
Off My List:
1. Get a haircut
2. Re-dye hair (now I remember why I never colored my hair before... maintenance).
3. Scan thousands of photos, organize them into discs, file them, print pictures to scrapbook, and make good use of them!
4. Find a very large box to act as my "Hope Chest." My grandmothers/mother keep giving me house-y products as if they expect my marriage to be impending before I reach the spinster age of 21. I can't contain them!
5. Clean out my boxes in the basement. Apparently I have kept every paper I ever had as a child.
6. Sell CDs to a resale shop. I've gone digital. But I hate talking to salespeople. I have a fear of confrontation.
7. Import photos/music to external hard drive.
8. Learn to exercise despite laziness.
There might be more...
But I just can't rest. And I think I need help coping! Life is going to go on despite the fact these things are not done. But once I begin a huge undertaking I simply cannot stop.
Good Eats, a show on the Food Network hosted by Alton Brown, whom I love, is currently playing. He is talking about spring water, confined aquifers, and artisan wells. I just learned about all of this is geosciences. The diagram he uses looks just like my textbook! Ah! I can't escape the elemental geosystems!
On Monday, Frank and I went on our first date in awhile. We went to Steak & Shake and got to talk since we really hadn't over the weekend. The sun was shining perfectly into the restaurant from my angle and everything seemed perfect to me. I wasn't worried about my agenda but I was left with a sense of emptiness. I realized the booth would seat four people perfectly: Kelsey, Ruth, Julia, and I. I expressed this sentiment with Frank. Mainly I expressed my sense about Kelsey. "I always have Kelsey but I don't have her here." I really love where I live but I realized I would probably never leave if she was here. I have Frank, my newfound friends from college, my parents, job opportunity, and sense of love for the community. "I guess with her I could just do anything."
Then we went to see Robin Hood, which I highly recommend. Of course, History 101 all came back to me as I pointed out the characters and their personalities before they were named onscreen. I of course knew the outcome, historically as well. I love how even general education classes leave you with a sense of feeling like you know everything. Especially when you don't. (Ha).
This was the house used in one of my favorite movies of all time, My Girl.
Part of the reason I love the movie so much is because of the childhood heartache it so artfully conveys. The main character, Vada Sultenfuss, reminds me most of myself when I was a child.
She was always very smart, but in the way in that she borrowed her intelligence from what other people said. Especially when she suspected her "prostrate" to be troubling to her after hearing someone having died of prostate cancer. She said, "Once it hits your prostate, you're a goner."
She really needed validation but rarely got it, so she went in search of it in unlikely places. Her father was an undertaker and never paid her much attention. She would talk to Arthur, one of her father's employees:
"I beat Thomas J at Monopoly yesterday!"
"Good for you baby."
Then her father chimes in:
"Vada, could you leave us alone please? I'm embalming my high school wood shop teacher."
She fell in love with her fifth grade teacher, Mr. Bixler and stole $35 to take his adult summer writing class. Once a man had the group sit in a circle and told everyone to feel his aura. Vada said she didn't think she was allowed to.
She would often exaggerate and lay on the floor, refusing to eat dinner because she believed herself to be dying.
She was mean to her best friend, Thomas J even though she knew he was the only person who really understood her.
None of the girls ever wanted to play with her.
I absolutely related to her and still do, as a young adult. She was so endearing because she was longing to grow up so fast and so strongly wished to appear older. She didn't want to be placed on the same level as her peers. She wanted to marry Mr. Bixler. She was reading War and Peace "for fun." She was growing up without a mother and metaphorically without a father.
One of my favorite scenes is at the carnival with Vada, her father, and her father's new makeup artist/girlfriend, Shelly. Shelly says her cousins ate carnival food and got nephritis.
"Nephritis is a kidney disease. You don't get it from eating hot dogs," Vada quipped.
She discovers Shelly and her father to be engaged after winning a fish, and instantly drops it, surprised.
"Do you want us to get you another fish?" Shelly asks.
"NO! I don't want another fish!" Vada shouts, then pauses.
"Fish are very resilient animals you know."
My Girl is one of those movies that doesn't truly have an outstanding script, a memorable cast, or a fleet of awards to show for. But it has always held a special place in my heart. So here I share it with you now.
And now I have to go to work. Hopefully my prostate remains intact.