Saturday, July 24, 2010

Where You Lead, I Will Follow

After having gone through my bursitis diagnosis and running on 4 hours of sleep, I was informed by my supervisor that I wouldn't be allowed to work unless I obtained a doctor's note stating that I was A-OK. This of course left me boggled, as most people request doctor's notes in times of legitimizing an ailment. Alas, he expected me to snap my fingers and produce this note. Needless to say, I felt as if my whole day had been ruined in chasing down a piece of paper that says "Lauren is healthy. Let her work, you tool." 

So, I self-medicated with mass quantities of food and Gilmore Girls. I picked and chose my favorite episodes from season 3 and watched the season 2 finale just to see Rory kiss Jess in the end. It was glorious! I watched the episode in which Jess is attacked by a swan; the 24-hour dance marathon episode; Lorelai's birthday with the massive pizza; and my favorite, Rory's high school graduation, to name a few!

Rory's valedictorian speech always makes me cry. After she walks across the stage to receive her diploma, Rory sticks her tongue out at Lorelai and I of course did this at my own high school graduation towards my mom in homage. When asked why I did so by congratulating parents of my fellow classmates, I answered, "It's a Gilmore Girls thing." The final scene of the episode leaves me teary, yet again, as it hits so close to home.

Lorelai drags Rory to the main staircase of Chilton, where she is oblivious to her surroundings and wanting to leave. 

Lorelai says, "Wait. Look around a second. You notice?"

"Notice what?" 

"It's not so scary anymore, is it?"

When I think about starting high school and how fearful I was; or every time I moved to a new place and had to meet new people; the day I went to register at college and walked in circles for hours looking for buildings lurking just behind me; the feeling of the first day of class; the moment I realized I knew my way around campus... all of these moments fill you with a trembling sense that the newness will never wear off and that you will be a novice forever. Then one day you stop to look around and realize it's over. And the feeling will start over again in a new location. 

I can't even imagine the feelings I'll be having when I graduate college. I will no longer have to work at overnight shipping hell to pay for tuition, I will hopefully be set up for graduate school and a teaching assistantship (God willing!), I will hopefully be prepared to go on a farewell to college life, welcome to the real world trip to Europe with my dad, and I will be amazed at how quickly four years flew by.

And it all won't be so scary anymore. 

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