Feeling blue, even though the weather was like 75 degrees outside, I stayed in my pajamas all day and pulled the covers over my head. I watched Almost Famous which always makes me feel better. The scene where everyone on the bus just starts singing "Tiny Dancer" can't help but bring a smile to my face. A love for music. Words. People. And the fact that everyone ends up somewhere but it's more than that. It's getting there. It's saying 'fuck airplanes, we're taking the bus.' It's about the people you know only for a little while but who you will never forget.
So, I turned on some Elton John and did something else I knew would make me feel better. I cleaned my room. Not just, putting things where they go and vacuuming. I have trash bags of things to get rid of. It's like you don't even realize how much your things suffocate you until you battle it with the sword of cleanliness. It was my way of dealing with a sadness that doesn't stem from anything. Just general apathy towards life and the future. A task I've just begun to tackle.
I feel like I can breathe again. It reminded me of one of my friend Julia's favorite quotes:
LESS SPACE, LESS THINGS, MORE LIFE.
I also watched Bones. I'm pretty sure I really like this show. The next episode features a dead body farm. Which sounds awesome to me. Emily Deschanel makes me smile. And it can't hurt that her sister is Zooey Deschanel, another girl that I can't help but wish I could be.
Yeah, she rocks.
I have to go to work soon but I'm oddly at ease with the world. If I have to go to work, at least I get to see someone I love, someone who loves me back, someone I can hug and kiss in the parking lot even though there are peculiar men in trucks watching.
Today is Day One in my Happiness Project.