Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Bread and Butter

I had a deep thought before I conceded to the impending doom that is my job earlier yesterday. I love Easter candy. It is by far the best of all candies... the cream of the crop being heaven captured in a container. Runts speckled eggs!

These eggs contain the original lime-flavored runt that was abolished to replace two atrocious green and purple figures. I'm not sure what the green one was supposed to be, but the very mention of it brings back memories of choking upon whatever filmy anthrax is released upon biting into it.
For any of those who know me for a few days know that I complain about my job a lot. How does this relate to my English life you may ask? Well, upon discovering that may parents were not going to pay for college, I knew what I had to do. I am
an employee of a shipping company. This company offers a wonderful little incentive: work in exchange for full tuition, book reimbursement, salary, and many various bonuses (not too shabby!)

Kudos to those who get the reference.

Sounds too good to be true, eh? Well, all of those great things come with a price, which is basically my soul. The program in which those who want tuition is a third shift position 5 days a week doing what some may refer to as "heavy labor." We load aircraft cargo. Anyone who has ever heard a large plane flying overhead has witnessed my office space. My official job title is that of "package handler" to which I refuse to list thusly on my resume. My package handling is not just limited to boxes [abstain from chuckles]. In a typical night, a crew of myself and five other men (surprisingly this is a male-dominated trade) load two-three airplanes by operating heavy machinery and pushing thousands of pounds of cargo into place.

1. My tuition is free! When I leave school I will be free of debt.
2. In the summertime, my outdoor job feels fabulous because the weather is so perfect.

1. I have no soul.
2. I get about four hours of sleep every. single. day.
3. I am perpetually tired because of aforementioned lack of sleep.
4. The weather is unpredictable so sometimes I freeze to death (it has gotten in the teens out there) and sometimes a monsoon decides to happen.
5. I feel like the UPS residue never quite rinses off and I wish my job consisted of stylish clothes and a face free from the ravenous hunger of the wind, leaving me dull and flaky.
6. Oh yeah, I totally have no soul.

So I don't know how someone took a picture of this since, electronics are strictly prohibited, via metal detector upon entering the facility. But this is basically what I do with my life.

It's not so glamorous but at least it takes me a few steps closer to my aspired bread and butter, my hopes of bringing home far awesome-r bacon, and the aspiration to achieve the goals I set in...
My English Life.

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