Sunday, June 13, 2010

Taking the Long Way

It's amazing how liberating it is to exit a comfortable situation relatively unscathed.

I've checked off all the things on my list (or modified the daunting ones). And best of all, I have plans for the future that don't include an impending engagement or marriage.

My mom and I ordered tickets to the Rascal Flatts concert in August. We are also going to Holiday World in July.

I've been seeing my friends with great frequency, going on woman dates for lunch, talking for hours, just being liberally-minded 20-somethings.

The summer before I start graduate school, I want to travel to Europe for a week or two, bringing with me the greatest guide of all, my dad. He's been to numerous European and Eurasian countries and knows his way around. What better way to transition to a new stage in life?

I enjoy taking stock in my future but at the same time I am thrilled to be young and alive. I don't look down on people who marry young or are in long-term relationships. In fact, I salute you! But it's just not for me. Not right now. It took a couple days of crying to realize that.

The day my thoughts became totally clear was a foggy Thursday morning, hardly enough to see cars a few feet in front of you. I love the irony life brings. And I especially love that I have all of my senses back. Now I can truly see, taste, feel, sense, and hear life again.

Some people seem to fall in love with their own idealization of a person instead of who they truly are. And once they realize they've been wrong all along, they place a lot of blame elsewhere. If only they would accept people as they are or move on, they'd save a lot of time.

But hey, that's just me.

I'll be here living [my English] life instead of fearing it.

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