Purity

 So yesterday I was watching this global health series on 20/20 called Be the Change: Save a Life. It was basically a program shedding light on health problems across the world. They talked about tuberculosis in Cambodia, malnutrition in Guatemala, and the lack of clean water in Bangladesh among many other things. 

After my last post, I felt utterly shamed.

Here I am complaining about not being able to get into the Christmas spirit. Things like this really put life into perspective and make everything else seem entirely insignificant. I was reduced to watery eyes and I could feel my heart ripping open for these people. The only reason I sit here in a warm American home, typing on a laptop is because of an accident of birth. We do not ask to be born. We do not ask to be assigned an ethnicity or to inhabit a particular nation. Yet, we are all connected and it is our responsibility as human beings to help one another as best we can. 

And it all just sort of hit me. People are going to be my life's work. At first I thought it was all about words. But my words aren't going to make a difference without people. And I can't make a difference without them.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Or if it's even financially feasible or safe or practical. Maybe I'll take off to Guatemala and teach English as a second language. And while I'm there, help the malnourished. Maybe I won't go anywhere. Maybe my place is here. 

Either way, I have to stop living my life in the hopes of being like someone else. Living like I need to prove myself. Prove my intelligence. Living like a degree will define my success. 

I feel shaky, unsettled. But my heart feels pure.