Thursday, September 9, 2010


Boy Meets World, a favorite show of mine, comes on ABC Family at 7-8AM Eastern time. Between working and school, I don't get to watch it so my DVR is ceaselessly filled with new episodes for me to watch in my spare time. 

I always love how the life lessons taught aren't gag-worthy or sugar-coated in any sense. One episode that keeps sticking in my mind is where Shawn is forced to choose between sticking up for his half-brother and his best friend, Cory. In the end, he says something to the effect of, "Blood means you're related. It doesn't mean you're family." 

I know sometimes I have a tendency to rant and be antagonistic towards the world. But there are people in my life who I will never forget; people I call family. They listen to my daily reports of awkward run-ins with exes, they send letters, cards, mixtapes, and chocolate in the mail, they make me smarter, more hard-working, more loving and optimistic. They make me laugh, they make me smile, they make this whole living thing worthwhile. 

In creative writing class, I have learned that the reason one writes is because he or she has an urgency to say something. I'm feeling it right now. We have learned that the way to keep a reader enthralled is by providing images, dialogue, and by creating insight that the reader ultimately comes to without directly saying, "This is my message." It's funny because I feel like most of the writing I do is anything but creative. I'm constantly speaking in riddles and concluding everything by saying exactly what my intentions are. 

I find reflection somehow urgent.

And I keep hearing these songs that remind me of the past and people I have encountered in my life. At the time, I remember thinking, "I will never remember what song was playing (because I didn't know what it was called or who was singing) but I know in this moment, it's right." And magically, one of those songs reappeared. It's called "Amber" by 311. It's been bittersweet to hear the chorus over and over say, "Amber is the color of your energy..." because I remember the moment so vividly and hold it dear to me. At the same time, knowing that this person has made a seemingly-abrupt exit from my life has left a pit in my stomach. I was filled with a sense of relief before but now I am just ready to confront my feelings and the let the chips fall where they may. 

Here I go being cryptic again. I just want to make my peace. Again. Isn't that what we're always doing in the first place? It's like the world's little equilibrium. We have to keep struggling to overcome oppression but when we do the rewards are overwhelming. And it's nice to know there's one more person out there that thinks of you in a positive way. They may not be family, but they're pretty darn close. 

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